....

It is like a monster under your bed.
You know it is there, but you don't want to look down.
You know exactly how it's making you feel.
There will be a day where you thought, " Oh, okay. I'll confront it this time! ", then you look under your bed thinking you will be ready only to know that you are not. Apparently.

---------

It is that something that kind of takes away all your strength and just leaves you weak.
Your kryptonite.
That one thing you need to fight - and you know it - but it's just seems difficult to do.
Fighting your thoughts.
Fighting yourself.

--------

I don't want to keep having the same conversation.
Over and over and over and ... over again.
I hate myself for that.
I hate hating myself.
In general.

---------

I don't like the fact that I can't get your face out of my head.
I don't like the fact that you are giving me fears without you even knowing it.
I don't like the fact that I am actually chased by my own insecurity.
I don't like the fact that I am afraid, I might never be as good as you used to be.
I fucking hate you for that.

---------

I wish you never existed.
I wish one had never placed you in a place called perfection.
I wish you know how much I hate you.
I wish you know how ....
Oh nevermind.


It doesn't matter.









And,
fuck you.